I did…
I wanted to use… and nobody was there to talk to me… I sat at my halfway house… looked around… and all I saw was addicted men… Most of them sneaking off and using… Me? I don't know how they pass the weekly drug test - but they do… and that's non of my business. I want to recover - survive - live… That's why I'm here in the first place... but I wanted to use. My back hurt s from working on the job. The job I finally got… On my own mind you... But every muscle in my body is screaming for relief. Yes, some strong aspirin would help but I can get stronger drugs from my dope man… and Yes it cost much more than a pill in a bottle… Money I don't have… He will spot me for it just this once… I'm sure he will spot me. You simply don't know how much pain I am in. I just need some relief… A man can only take so much… And I'm not kidding myself - it will feel sooooo good. And my body will stop hurting… And my loneliness will go away for a few hours. I want to use… Who can I call? Who will understand? I don't want to talk to another addict… How can you trust them… They want to use too. There is no one to call that understands MY reason to use. No one person - because I have no friends…other than my drug friends. … and perhaps you... I know that this will put me out of my halfway house… But that is no biggie - I've been on the streets before and I will survive. And what's more - I'm a man, I'm responsible for my own actions. I just need to use one last time… and then I won't use again… Do you believe me? Do you understand? Do you really?,,, When I get back… can I call you?
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JR DaviswalTActivists for homeless - inmates and the poor of this world.
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